What it is like to have a coach

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

When I started to attend the coaching course, I started to coach, but also to be coached. It was my first experience with it and I liked it very much. I thought I was pretty self-reflective. I take time to think about myself. I can reflect on my behavior pretty objectively. I wasn’t sure, what to expect, or how would a coach help me.

It turned out that having a coach is great! He asks you questions you might not ask yourself. But only the matter of speaking about things you somehow know, they’re there in your head but you haven’t thought them explicitly, it helps so much! It’s wonderful like you have a thought in your head but it’s kind of wrapped up, closed up. And you cannot unlock its full potential until you unwrap it. You can do it alone, but you have to take time for it, find it, and unwrap it. And on all of these levels, you can encounter some difficulties.

First of all – finding the time. A lot of us are probably more prompt to cancel a meeting with ourselves than with another person, our coach. Will we really take the time? Will we take enough time and fill it with the right things? Or will we do just our basic regular review, which is great and moves us forward, but it is not truly transformative?

Secondly, you have to find it. But it may be hidden somewhere in the back of your head covered with other wrapped things. Until you unwrap those and dig deep enough, your planned time might be over. Because those other unwrapped things might also lead you somewhere else. The coach will help you explore much faster and stay focused.

Thirdly it is the unwrapping itself. Imagine a crumpled piece of paper. If you just quickly unwrap it, you can probably see what is written there, as long as the letters are big and easily readable. But what if it’s tiny and scribbled? You have to take time and effort to glide over it with your hand multiple times to make it flat and straight. And then you still have to look very closely. When you do this with your thoughts, you only peak in. Even if you manage to find it in your appointed time, you might not unlock its full potential. The coach can help you unwrap and straighten the thought completely, see exactly what is there, and understand it better.

It's like your subconsciousness is writing things on paper and then crumpling them and throwing them into your consciousness. And then you have all these crumpled papers in your head. You don’t know what’s written there and in this state, they take so much precious space! Crumpled papers always take up more space than nicely straightened papers. How can you think straight with such a crowded head?

What you need to do is to take those papers, open them up, find out what is written there, and decide what to do with them. Taking those thoughts out is even a better step but even just straightening them takes you a long way. You’ll gain so much mental capacity! And with more mental capacity, you can use your brain much more efficiently. And use it for the things it’s supposed to be doing. The brain is great at creating ideas, not holding them.

As I have already said. You can do it alone, but it is very probable with a coach it will be much faster and much more efficient. And maybe also more fun.

For me going to the coaching session, I’m looking forward to unwrapping those things. I know I can do it myself but I also know it will be much more fun and impactful when I do it with my coach. It impacted me so much (of course it’s also because it’s new and I spend a lot of time with it), that sometimes I wonder how could I ever have been effective in anything without it. Sometimes the thought crosses my mind: “Could I just meet my coach now to work out the priorities and decide, what would be the optimal solution.” Of course, that is a bit extreme. I don't mean that the coach should decide the things for me or that I’m not able to decide myself. Or that I’m helpless without her. Of course not. The thing is, she really helps me to sort out my thoughts and you get used to it fast. Probably the biggest impact of coaching for me now is great motivation. “Why” is a very important question. And when you know exactly why you want to do something over something else, the Why will pop out in the situation in real life, when you’re deciding.

Now I know, why I do, what I do, and why it is alright I’m not doing something else at that moment. And that brings me a lot of joy and happiness.